![]() PuddleDancer Press is the foremost proponent and publisher of books on Nonviolent Communication and empathy. Puddledancer Press Books about Emotional Intelligence and Empathy After receiving empathy, people are more connected to what is important to them and they have a lower emotional charge. When we’re in pain, getting heard can relieve the pressure we feel inside. When we are fully listened to - deeply understood or “gotten” - then our need for empathy is met!Įmpathy also functions as a pressure release valve of sorts. This allows us to define the role of empathy as a compassionate understanding or a respectful understanding. ![]() These can also be understood as giving (or speaking) and receiving (or listening). The role of empathy in communication relates to the two parts of any communication process: Speaking and Listening. Needs can be thought of as core human motivators common to all people or the conditions necessary for any human to thrive, regardless of culture or geographic location. In NVC, Empathy is a Universal Human Need. The role of empathy in communication is often misunderstood because, as mentioned above, culturally we have multiple definitions and perspectives around empathy. Honesty (“When I hear what you’re saying I feel upset…”)ĭefining the Role of Empathy in Communication.Diagnosing (“This is because you’re an ”).Investigation (“When was the first time you felt this way?”).Fixing or resolving things (“Daddy will buy you a new one!”).Suggestions (“Let me tell you what I think you should do…”).Now the we have defined empathy, let’s take a look at several examples of what isn’t empathy: Therefore, empathy has a quality of following, rather than leading. When offering empathy, we embody a quality of being completely present with what is alive in the other person moment to moment. We can think of it as a respectful or compassionate understanding. With the help of our friend and CNVC Certified Trainer, Alan Rafael Seid, we can define empathy as follows:Įmpathy is a Universal Human Need for being deeply understood. ![]() Our society has multiple perspectives and definitions of empathy. In order to properly understand the value of Nonviolent Communication for empathy, we must first answer the question, “What is the definition of empathy?” in terms of NVC. Learning how to “offer empathy” - how to be present with our whole being so that the other person experiences being understood deeply - is one of the essential skill-sets we learn in NVC. As a result, the other person’s need for empathy, for being deeply understood, is fulfilled. What we give is our full presence, with our entire being. When we use empathy in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), we support having high quality relationships, as well as the prevention and resolution of conflicts.Ĭolloquially, people talk about “giving empathy.” But technically we don’t “give” empathy. “Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word ‘no’ without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.” Nonviolent Communication for Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
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